Let Your Inner Self Set Free

He's not in the mood!!

Today I woke up in the morning at exactly 8:00 am, feeling so excited about the outing with my nursing blockmates at Tinago Falls, Linamon, Iligan City, Lanao del Norte, Philippines and felt like not going out at all at the same time . Why was I even thinking not to go out with my friends? Because I just had a very bad news about the woman I still love, but I refused to love and I refused to accept that I still love her and also not to mention I refused to make her the one woman of my life. Of course there's a lot of ups and downs story behind it but I don't want to mention it because that's going to take for quite a time. But I can tell you the story why I feel so down.

Last night we had a conversation, not new to us cause we still talk till now. She mentioned about going out to Cebu with her friend and that doesn't surprise me at all. It was when she told me that finally she will meet the man of her life at the same time in Cebu next month. I felt like I'm gonna explode cause of the idea and I admit that It felt so bad, so bad that I even thought of doing something for her like going out with her next month and thinking she might choose me over that guy. Well, I believed that because I know I hold the biggest part of her life.

My life nowadays that she is not beside me was nothing like apple pie something but a huge pile of empty championship cup that once where the happiest memories of my life and now it only serves as a reminder of how the only person that makes me happy is now beyond my reach. That's how my life is but even though I felt that way, I still decided to go and I was so surprised that well I even enjoyed the day to the fullest along with my friends and the hole inside me and the loneliness deep in me were filled overflowing even for just a moment.